Becoming a better version of yourself 1 brick at a time.

Have you ever tried to lose weight? Have you ever tried to get ripped, shredded, yolked, or etcetera? Have you ever thought I’m going to start a blog website and write interesting and clever articles so that I can build up a following and one day get paid to write? Have you ever tried to do anything where the desired end state of that goal wouldn’t be realized for months or even years down the road?

40% of the people in the US are physically obese and because of this morbid fact I’ll confidently assert that 40% of the people that will read this article have at some point had the thought “Starting today I’m going to eat healthy, exercise, and lose weight!” I would also wager that every single person that has had this type of thought was able to eat healthily and exercise for at least 1 day. It would be interesting to know what percentage of people that internally commit to a healthy diet and consistent exercise only last for 1 day before they’re back on the couch eating pizza. I would guess that this happens to quite a few people, but I would also guess that most people that have this thought are able to make it 2-3 weeks before they fall off the wagon.

The procession of events that derail people from consistent healthy habits is most of the time probably something like this: 2 weeks into consistent healthy behavior a coworker brings in a box of donuts for the office to share and the recently health conscious person convinces themselves that they can eat 1 donut and it won’t be the end of the world or even necessarily something that will dramatically impact the trajectory of their mission to lose weight. It is true that 1 donut won’t cause a person to gain a measurable amount of weight. The problem with that donut is that it tastes so fucking good, especially when you’ve been eating nothing but beets and boiled chicken breast for 2 weeks. That donut shatters all the willpower that the dieter has built up over two weeks, and it opens the door for the next donut, and the next donut, and the next donut, until the new dieter is right back where they started eating like a pig at every meal and driving past the gym on the way home.

To be sure, I’m not writing this article judgmentally. I’m no saint of healthy behaviors and I’ve been seduced by many’a donut in my days. I’m writing this article because I feel like I’ve finally cracked the problem I personally have with maintaining consistent healthy behavior, and I believe that my solution is something that could work for everyone trying to improve their health.

It dawned on me that from day 1 of any personal healthy behavior initiative I’ve pursued that my mind is invariably focused on the desired end result of the initiative. When I reach the mountain top, I’ll be trim, muscular, full of energy, and my skin will glow. I imagine a version of myself that I would only be able to attain if I kept up very healthy unadulterated behaviors for years on end, and that’s a problem, because there isn’t a version of me that can exist that is capable of subsisting on beet roots and boiled chicken breast for years on end. Unless you’re mentally ill, there probably isn’t a version of you that can endlessly subsist on beet roots and boiled chicken breast. Also, beets are fucking gross, sorry beet people.

Imagining and then focusing on the version of ourselves that we will be at the end of any long process is the reason so many of us fail to achieve our goals. Much effort and willpower gets dumped into the beginning of any new endeavor, and in this timeframe, you won’t see any progress, and not seeing progress after any period of high effort has the potential to be very demoralizing. It is in the initial 2–3 weeks of effort towards a new you that you realize the trim, muscular, shiny version of yourself is something that you likely won’t ever achieve, and this is when you decide that you’re comfortable being comfortable and you eat another donut.

The solution to the above outlined problem of inconsistent health behavior is as follows:

Stop imagining what or where you’ll be at the end. There is no end in this world except for death. We live on a scale, where one side is your life, and the other is the universe trying to take it from you. We are condemned to suffer, and the objective of life is to struggle against suffering. The trim, muscled up, shiny version of you is not something you become, it is something that you decide to be as often as you can. That version of you eats healthily more often than not, gets good rest, drives to the gym on its way home, and it does all that even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even if you don’t necessarily look like that version of yourself, you can choose to act like that version of yourself.

Stop setting goals that are way out in the future. Don’t set goals that are a month from now. Don’t even set weekly goals. Set goals for today. What can you do to be a better version of yourself today. It’s breathtakingly easy to do something hard for 1 day. When you wake in the morning commit to eating well that day, going to bed early that night, or doing whatever it is you think you need to do in order to improve your health. When you say to yourself things like “I’m going to eat healthy this entire week, you set yourself up to struggle for 7 straight days. That’s 7 days of avoiding every temptation you will come across. You also set an artificial end date for your healthy behaviors, and what happens then? You’ve been depriving yourself for an entire week, and at the end of it are you going to recommit yourself to another 7 days of deprivation? That’s a big pill to swallow and it doesn’t give you a lot of space to be human. Also, when your timeframes for goal achievement are short you get the internal positive reinforcement of achieving goals on a regular basis. It feels good to accomplish something you set out to accomplish, and that success builds on itself, growing your confidence with every achievement. Lastly, if you fail to reach your goals today it’s ok, because you can reset and try again tomorrow. When your timeframes are long a failure today diminishes the perceived success from the preceding weeks of struggle and effort. When your timeframes are short failure does not unravel the success of prior progress.

Rapper Will Smith summarized the concept I’ve just outlined in a very thoughtful quote. “You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t Say “I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.” You don’t start there. You say “I’m gonna lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid” and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall”.

Starting tomorrow forget about the wall and instead focus on what you’re going to do with the brick in your hand.